I created this blog when my sweet little girl, Kristen, was diagnosed with cancer, for the third time. After fighting for almost 3 years Kristen was called home to that same God who gave her life. I've contemplated on many occasions rather I should quit this blog or not. Each time I am inspired that I should not. One of my favorite quotes comes from Neal A. Maxwell- "Those who "plow in hope" not only understand the law of the harvest but they also understand what growing seasons are all about. True, those with genuine hope may see their proximate circumstances shaken like a kaleidoscope at times, yet with the "Eye of faith" they still see divine design." Kristen blessed lives and continues to do so. Her light continues to shine. As for me, I continue to "plow in hope" knowing well that Kristen is mine for eternity. Families can be together forever! This I know. Our family continues to live and to love and this is our story...

Thursday, December 31, 2015

candy from heaven


Among the business of the season and my heart full of sadness
I found this...


These are chocolate jelly rings. To some, probably not a big deal.
But to me, HUGE. 
My dad loved jelly rings. 
It has probably been 40 years since I have seen one with chocolate in the middle.
My dad and I used to fight over these treats. Occasionally, you could find
one in the entire bag. When I saw these in the store I'm pretty sure I stood 
right there and cried. I happily scooped me up a pound or two. 
I told one of my daughters that my dad sent Christmas candy from heaven. 
She joked with me saying, 
"Yip, I'm sure grandpa has been hanging out at Sweet's Candy Company
filling those jelly rings with chocolate just for you."
I am so very thankful for the memories I have,
for the times when I need them the most they are there.
The jelly rings are simple yet profound.
A reminder to my heart that all is well and that my parents
and Kristen are very much aware of me.
My own personal manna.



I wasn't sure how Christmas would play out this year. The first Christmas without
my mom. Christmas Eve was always my parents night. 
Dinner was prepared, family gathered together and gifts given. 
A family tradition for as long as I've lived.
When some of my children started asking,
"What are we going to do on Christmas Eve?"
I pretty much ignored them. 
I didn't even want to think about it. 
I decided to leave it open.
I didn't want to plan anything.
I planned to just roll with it and take it as it came.
I did a little early morning grocery shopping, just as my mother and I 
always did. I made a batch of sugar cookies. 
Finally I decided it was okay to make a bit of a plan.
I told all the kids I was going to the cemetery at 6.
They could meet me there if they wanted.
Everyone showed up and we sang and left lights and candles
for my parents and Kristen.




There was this fabulous tree at the cemetery this year.
It lit up the entire place and was most beautiful.

I returned to the cemetery Christmas morning to find this fresh 
blanket of snow.

I have a simple reminder for the year to come.
Time is fleeting.
The days may pass slowly,
but the weeks soon turn to months.
Living in the moment is sometimes difficult
but so very necessary.
Make memories.
Someday you might need them.


3 comments:

Cindy said...

Such a beautiful post. Those donuts look absolutely delicious!

Cindy said...

Sorry, jelly ring, not donut!

Heather said...

I haven't been on blogs in months. Months and months. But tonight I cam eon and found this. Your words of sorrow and missing. Your words of wisdom that I too have echoed recently.My heart is with you Polly. I miss my mom each and everyday. As my dad ages I try and not think of the inevitable and try to just cherish the now. As we approach the anniversary of losing Grace, I am acutely aware of the uncertainty and fragility of each day. As I look at Zoey, she is my constant reminder to live in the moment. Peace to you my friend in all of you missing of your parents and of course of your sweet, sweet girl.