Last weekend I left town with my husband.
He had a job in Seal Beach, California. I have never really left my children home
and gone out of town before. I figured since Ryan was 18 I was finally fine to leave for
a few days. It felt weird. Rich was working and I spent a lot of time sitting
at the beach alone and walking through the town. It felt strange to be alone.
With 6 children I haven't been alone much. I always knew that someday my children
would marry and leave, But I always planned to have Kristen with me.
And now I was again reminded that I was ALONE.
Cold sorrow, like ice, quickly returned to my heart as I walked down Main Street.
I could feel my eyes filling with tears as I was wishing
that Kristen's hand was tucked inside my arm as it always was.
It felt as though grief would soon engulf me.
As I looked up a large, bright orange butterfly flew in front of me.
It circled around me and seemed to follow me back to the house.
It felt as though Kristen was telling me that she was indeed near.
That I wasn't alone.
I soon headed back to the beach, there was something I needed to do.
I felt as though I had gained a little strength.
I headed back to the house, I was only back for a few minutes when I received
a call from my oldest son. He informed me that my youngest son, Ryan, had been
in a car accident, that he hit a power pole and rolled the jeep.
I soon started to receive multiple pictures and this is what I saw
Not a picture you want to see when you are 680 miles away.
Ryan was fine, but I just couldn't see myself walking down the pier to get ice cream
or sitting on the beach, I just wanted to GO HOME!
Rich felt the same way and we left almost that moment and drove home.
Ryan has been slacking as far as his seat belt goes,
luckily, he put it on that day.
I like to think he also wasn't alone that Monday afternoon.