I created this blog when my sweet little girl, Kristen, was diagnosed with cancer, for the third time. After fighting for almost 3 years Kristen was called home to that same God who gave her life. I've contemplated on many occasions rather I should quit this blog or not. Each time I am inspired that I should not. One of my favorite quotes comes from Neal A. Maxwell- "Those who "plow in hope" not only understand the law of the harvest but they also understand what growing seasons are all about. True, those with genuine hope may see their proximate circumstances shaken like a kaleidoscope at times, yet with the "Eye of faith" they still see divine design." Kristen blessed lives and continues to do so. Her light continues to shine. As for me, I continue to "plow in hope" knowing well that Kristen is mine for eternity. Families can be together forever! This I know. Our family continues to live and to love and this is our story...

Thursday, May 31, 2012

Just in case...

...you thought you were having a bad day.

cancer stinks

Monday, May 28, 2012

hey girlfriend,

You are loved and  you are missed.
You were also the most popular girl in the entire cemetery.

Tuesday, May 22, 2012

a couple of hometown heroes

This video from FOX 8 out of Cleveland is well worth your time.
Sarah and Kristen
changing lives.
just click on the link below

Saturday, May 19, 2012

fun family fishing

The boys gave me a few hours notice as they told me that 
I would be going fishing at 4pm.
I had a few reservations as it had been raining most of the day.
They assured me it would be fun and that the rain would stop in time.
They were partly right, I did have fun, but the rain continued.
We quickly found some firewood and got the fire started with wet wood.
After we had been there for about a half hour, the wind stopped, the rain stopped
and the blue sky began to appear.
It was a beautiful evening.
All of the kiddies caught their own fish, as well as most of the adults.
The fish were small so that we let them all go. 
I called Ryan the fish whisperer as he was the one to send the 
fish back into the water. 
It was another one of those fabulous evenings where I was able to feel
sorrow, joy and peace all at the same time.

Friday, May 18, 2012

thought for friday

There are two ways to live your life- 
one is as though nothing is a miracle,
 the other is as though everything is a miracle.
~Albert Einstein

This little family greeted me when I arrived at the cemetery this morning.

Wednesday, May 16, 2012

Kristen's Light

I recently received an e-mail from a mother asking if I
could make a blanket for her baby girl. 
The baby is about 3 months old and has already had 3 surgeries.
She still has more surgeries to come and has yet to leave the hospital.
I wanted to choose a blanket and fabric that Kristen would have chosen,
so of course, I chose Disney Princesses!
I almost forgot, the baby was born with Down syndrome.
from one princess to another....

If you know someone who could use a blanket, a mothers bag,
a build a bear, a pillowcase or some other fun item,
send me an e-mail.

Sunday, May 13, 2012

Mother's Day

We spent the day doing what we do best,
spending time with family. Several times throughout the
day I thought about the one who was missing.
Actually, the two, Kristen and my dad.
Both Kristen and my dad loved these special occasions when 
we would all gather for fun, food and games.
As we continue to gather, we continue to share stories and memories
all while making new ones.
I feel so very blessed to have 6 of the
most amazing children any mother could ever hope for.
I have also been blessed to have the
world's best mom.
I am so very proud of my children who have become mothers and fathers
themselves and are raising their children in love and righteousness.
Today was a good day.
Happy Mother's Day to all the moms in my life. 

Wouldn't you know, I forgot I had my camera until almost
everyone had left. I did manage to get a couple of pictures from the day.
If you want to make really good chocolate covered strawberries,
I highly recommend using the large Symphony milk chocolate bars, they make
a fabulous treat that any mother would love.

A friend sent me this picture just in time for Mother's Day
from the beach in Venice, Florida.
A sweet reminder that Kristen lives on in the hearts of many,
that she is loved and remembered.

Saturday, May 12, 2012

Dear Mr. Hallmark

a poem sent to me from my friend Joany

Dear Mr. Hallmark,

I am writing to you from heaven,
and though it must appear
A rather strange idea,
I see everything from here.

I just popped in to visit,
your stores to find a card
A card of love for my mother,
as this day for her is hard.

There must be some mistake I thought,
every card you could imagine
Except I could not find a card,
from a child who lives in heaven.

She is still a mother too,
no matter where I reside
I had to leave, she understands,
but oh the tears she’s cried.

I thought that if I wrote you,
that you would come to know
That though I live in heaven now,
I still love my mother so.

She talks with me, and dreams with me;
we still share laughter too,
Memories our way of speaking now,
would you see what you could do?

My mother carries me in her heart,
her tears she hides from sight.
She writes poems to honor me,
sometimes far into the night.

She plants flowers in my garden,
there my living memory dwells
She writes to other grieving parents,
trying to ease their pain as well.

So you see Mr. Hallmark,
though I no longer live on earth
I must find a way,
to remind her of her wondrous worth

She needs to be honored,
and remembered too
Just as the children of earth will do.

Thank you Mr. Hallmark,
I know you’ll do your best
I have done all I can do;
to you I’ll leave the rest.

Find a way to tell her,
how much she means to me
Until I can do it for myself,
when she joins me in eternity.

~Jody Seilheimer

thinking of all grieving mother's, tonight, tomorrow and always..

one of our last pictures together

Saturday, May 5, 2012

birthday celebration

Dear Kristen,
I started the day early. First I decorated the kitchen table with 
pictures, balloons and beads. I then went to the cemetery and set up 
26 windmills as you would have turned 26.
Grandma met me there, she had pink flowers for you and
red flowers for grandpa. Kelli also came and brought you an angel.
Someone had been there the night before and left you a candle and
some beautiful pink beads. I think I know who it was, she is always  
coming and leaving you treasures.
I then went to the temple. As I entered a certain sacred room,
I paused and asked you,
"Kristen, is this what heaven looks and feels like?"
It truly felt heavenly and I could imagine you standing next to me
with your arm in mine.
Later we met the kiddies at the cemetery to send you 
26 pink and yellow balloons. We also passed around a box of your favorite crackers,
Better Cheddars!
A few of us even fit in your favorite birthday activity, BOWLING!
Later we again gathered for pizza, cupcakes and your favorite drink, coke.
A few of us went again to the cemetery to send you some lanterns.
We almost set the trees on fire. I'm sure you got a good laugh out of that.
Our family and friends were very kind as they left you many flowers and gifts.
Even though my heart continues to harbor great sorrow,
I  felt peace and joy as I celebrated your life.
Throughout the day we shared many tears and many memories of you.
You always loved your birthday and looked forward to it.
We wish we could have enjoyed many more birthdays with you here.
You were and continue to be one of  my greatest blessings.
I love you bigger than the ocean.
Love, Mom