I created this blog when my sweet little girl, Kristen, was diagnosed with cancer, for the third time. After fighting for almost 3 years Kristen was called home to that same God who gave her life. One of my favorite quotes comes from Neal A. Maxwell- "Those who "plow in hope" not only understand the law of the harvest but they also understand what growing seasons are all about. True, those with genuine hope may see their proximate circumstances shaken like a kaleidoscope at times, yet with the "Eye of faith" they still see divine design." Kristen blessed lives and continues to do so. Her light continues to shine. As for me, I continue to "plow in hope" knowing well that Kristen is mine for eternity. Families can be together forever!

Sunday, March 4, 2012

Ramblings & Orphan spotlight day 4

Where does the time go.  The weeks seem to fly by, by somehow the days 
seem to drag. I feel like I am definitely stuck somewhere.  
It seems I have been wondering what direction it is that I need to 
be going for quite some time now.
I thought I had my life planned. I always planned to have Kristen by my side.
We would go forward, her and I, doing what was important. 
It feel like with the loss of Kristen, I have lost my future.
I feel like I am back at square one wondering which direction to go.
There are days where chaos and uncertainty seem to follow me wherever I go,
and other days I don't feel anything at all.
I hate both of those.
I hate the numbness and the uncertainty.
I don't want to find a new normal.
I liked my life the way it was before.
One of the hardest things for me is trying to find joy and purpose in life.
I guess there is one good thing,
at least I am trying.

Can you believe I would even sit here for a minute and complain about
my own plight when there are children, many children who are 
suffering around the world. Sorry for complaining. 
Maybe I can't go and rescue one, but I can continue to speak for them.
Tonight I bring you...


She was born in May 2002
Trina is a beautiful 10 year old girl in need of her forever family. 
 She is active and healthy, but does have some strabismus. 
 Correcting her vision would be such a blessing for her.

Are you  her mommy?


Groves said...

We love meeting the kids you introduce. I *so* wish we could adopt them - all of them.

I can pray for them! And gladly do.

Just thinking - your words don't sound like complaining. Not at all. They sound like love. They sound like missing your girl. They sound normal.

Your heartache keeps flowing into service for others, in a million ways.

You are the last person I would call selfish or complaining. You have so much love to give - and you wanted to be able to keep giving it to Kristen, too...in person.

That's commitment, that's enduring relationship, and that's what you have with Kristen.

I just wish it didn't have to hurt so much. With this kind of love, I think there's no other way.

Praying for your kids and for you,

Cathy in Missouri

Nikki said...

She is gorgeous!

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Rochelle said...

Praying for your aching heart.