I created this blog when my sweet little girl, Kristen, was diagnosed with cancer, for the third time. After fighting for almost 3 years Kristen was called home to that same God who gave her life. One of my favorite quotes comes from Neal A. Maxwell- "Those who "plow in hope" not only understand the law of the harvest but they also understand what growing seasons are all about. True, those with genuine hope may see their proximate circumstances shaken like a kaleidoscope at times, yet with the "Eye of faith" they still see divine design." Kristen blessed lives and continues to do so. Her light continues to shine. As for me, I continue to "plow in hope" knowing well that Kristen is mine for eternity. Families can be together forever!

Wednesday, March 21, 2012

Celebrate World Down Syndrome Day! Orphan spotlight day 21

A few weeks ago I was asked to give a talk in church.
I was asked to talk about  how my beliefs have
helped me through this difficult time. I think today is a good
time to share some of the talk.
so here goes...

One of my greatest blessings has been the opportunity to be a mother.
I have been blessed with 6 children.
Our third child brought with her a little something extra. Kristen was born with Down syndrome. Kristen has taken us on a journey, one that was not planned or even expected. There have been obstacles and trials, each of which she met with bravery and dignity. 
We know that Kristen was placed in our home for a very special purpose.
Her presence has filled our home with much love and happiness.
We are forever changed for having the privileged to call Kristen our daughter and sister.
I believe with my whole heart that the mission of our daughter is pure and simple...
To bring light and love to the world.
Kristen was not sent here to be tested as the rest of us are;
she was sent here to test those around her.
Because she was born with a handicap, she is free from sin. 
She came from God in purity and no sin can attach to her in this life.

It was a warm July morning almost 19 months ago.
I laid in bed next to Kristen with her hand in mine, Richard on the other side kneeling at her bedside with her other hand in his. It was then, after she fought leukemia for almost 2 years, that her sweet little spirit left her body and returned home to that same God who gave her life.

My heart has never hurt so much in my life as it did that morning. 
However, because of my testimony and my faith in Jesus Christ I was able to feel 
pain, sorrow and peace 
all at the same time. It was a very difficult day for our family,
one that I cannot truly express in words.
However, we recognize that it was a glorious day for Kristen as 
she was now free from the leukemia that ravaged throughout her little body. .

Over the next several weeks I continued to feel pain, I’m pretty sure my heart was shattered. I was now left without Kristen by my side for the first time in 24 years. I was left to figure out how to enjoy life rather than just enduring it. As I continued to grieve and mourn, as I dissolved the physical bonds that Kristen and our family shared the spiritual and 
emotional bonds remained intact.

I knew that Kristen would not want her death to diminish my life. 
She would want me to live better and love deeper.
My heart was broken but still believing.

Over the past several months I have witnessed the miracle of one little angel,
spreading her influence across the world as we as a family have kept her
light burning by serving others, 
especially those children who are fighting cancer, 
and by being a voice for children with Down syndrome around the world.

Through the death of my daughter I have learned to appreciate the gift of the Atonement and the promise of eternal life in a very personal way.
I have somewhere I need to be for I know where Kristen is.

I am so thankful for the peace that this gospel brings,
for Jesus Christ and His redeeming sacrifice, 
for in Him there is Hope. 
I am thankful for a loving Heavenly Father who hears and answers my prayers.
Because of Kristen
There is a continual reminder deep within me that keeps me focused and 
reminds me that this life is temporary,
But how we choose to act in this life is Eternal.
Every day is truly a gift. How we treat others does matter.

I am a mother with a broken heart which through my 
Savior Jesus Christ has begun to heal. 
Kristen's life was truly a blessing.
She inspired many and continues to do so today.
Her life was a life well lived.
She brought the true meaning of life into this world.

Love and miss you baby girl!

Today's spotlight...
I bring you the beautiful 

I fell in love with Catherine a very long time ago.
She reminds me of Kristen so much.
I have been praying for her and hoping she would find
a loving family. 


Rochelle said...

Oh my dear friend, I do so love you.

So thankful for the opportunity for you to share this with your congregation. I know they have been moved by your family, your grace, your faith and your continued leaning on our Savior to get you through this.

Beautiful post, beautiful angel, beautiful mother! Thankful Kristen brought us together!

Jeana said...

Thank you for sharing your beautiful testimony. What an amazing message to share to those around you. Kristen is one special little girl and I'm so honored to have met her. Every time I see Catherines picture I think it is Kirsten! Praying she finds her family soon.

Zoey's mom, Heather said...

Sending love and thanking you once again for sharing your journey with Kristen with us. We are so blessed because of it.

Amy L said...

I'm in tears. I have thought of you and Kristen a lot today and also yesterday with it being a Tuesday and the 20th both together. And my sweet Catherine, I hope that she does not spend the rest of her life without a family. She is so precious Polly. I fell in love the day I met her. I was so sure she would have a family by now.:( We need to storm heaven for this precious little girl! Thank you for sharing her on your blog. She reminds me so much of Kristen too.

Salinas family said...

Polly, this is such a beautiful post. Thank you for sharing your talk - there is such comfort in the gospel and the knowledge we have that we really can be with our loved ones again if we make good choices while we're here on earth. You and your family are wonderful examples of keeping the eternal perspective and living with the goal of living Christ like lives.
sending love from Logan,