I created this blog when my sweet little girl, Kristen, was diagnosed with cancer, for the third time. After fighting for almost 3 years Kristen was called home to that same God who gave her life. One of my favorite quotes comes from Neal A. Maxwell- "Those who "plow in hope" not only understand the law of the harvest but they also understand what growing seasons are all about. True, those with genuine hope may see their proximate circumstances shaken like a kaleidoscope at times, yet with the "Eye of faith" they still see divine design." Kristen blessed lives and continues to do so. Her light continues to shine. As for me, I continue to "plow in hope" knowing well that Kristen is mine for eternity. Families can be together forever!

Tuesday, September 13, 2011

raising more hope

Something else I'm learning

If I remain true to my deepest self 
and to my heart,(even though it is broken)
my heart will be full
and Kristen's light will continue to shine.
And somewhere in there, if even for a moment,
I will feel peace and joy.

While sitting under a memorial tree for her son, 
Alice Wisler wrote the following thoughts on what grief has been for her.

Grief is laughing with your children and wishing for the absent one 

to make the circle complete.

Grief is crying in your car at stoplights.

Some days grief makes you brutally honest; other days, grief muzzles you.

Grief reconstructs your heart.

Grief is sadness, hope, smiles and tears – rolled tightly like a snowball.

Grief makes you search past the stars and the moon for Heaven.

Grief strips you of everything you were pretending to be.

Grief gives you new priorities.

Grief opens hidden treasures from deep within your soul.

Grief allows you to empathize more deeply with others who ache.

Grief makes you unapologetically bold.

Grief is a daily companion, best dealt with 

by admitting you do walk with it, even after all these years.

Grief is the price of love; grief is a gift.

I think she summed it up quite well.
Keeping Kristen's light alive has helped me the most.
Following are a few of the projects that I've been working on this past week.

Anna is a precious little girl from Tennessee who is battling AML.
She is scheduled to undergo a bone marrow transplant in the next few days.
I received a request to make a parent bag for her mother. 
I also made a pillowcase for Anna.

Kamie and I are both on a committee for the
"Festival of Trees."
We have a lot of responsibilities that we are anxious to fulfill.
Kamie has volunteered to make 30 of these angels, and I 
volunteered to make 20.
These are filled with candy and sold in the "Small Fry" shop.
Yesterday, Kamie yelled from the dining room,
"I'm kicking your trash! I have all my heads done."
Today I will attempt to catch up with her.

We also have the responsibility to make or collect several items to be 
sold in the gift shop.
I made a few Christmas stockings and some
crayon roll ups. 
I am currently looking for some more ideas.

This is my stack of un-sewn pillowcases. Most of these are for 
special little friends. I was able to get a couple sent out last week.
My goal this week is to get these all sewn and in the mail.

Oh yes, how could I not share the honey story.
It is always GREAT fun to watch Richard go out to the beehive
and retrieve some honey.
He doesn't have a bee suit so he bundles up the best he can.
He asked me for a sweatshirt with a hood. I found him one, he put some
netting over his face and continues on his way. 
What I hadn't noticed was a rather large hole 
in the sleeve of the sweatshirt. 
Yup, the bees found the hole and he did get stung
and I got in trouble.
Now my dilemma is this...
I have never liked honey. never.
Now, for the past few days I open the fridge and see this honeycomb full of honey.
I began to crave it. So now every time I open the fridge, there is the
honey comb. I can't resist it. I take a spoon and break off a piece.
I chew on the honey comb until the honey is all gone and then I spit out
the wax. So is honey bad for you?
Like if I have 2 or 3 tablespoons every day
what is going to happen?
Maybe I should hide it in the back of the fridge.


Kristin said...

Thanks again for our pillowcases! Piper especially loves the "little stars" on hers :)

Zoey's mom, Heather said...

You never cease to amaze Polly and Kristen's light shines through you always.

Can't wait to see the trees this year and I am so proud of you and your family as you journey forward, living life with Kristen as your guide.

Was contacted last week about a little guy, T21, has had seizures and host of other thing and was diagnosed in August with leukemia. He lost his battle already. One month later. So not fair. His name is Ryan and his devastated family needs all the prayers, that even strangers, can muster.

Oh how I hate this disease.

Groves said...

Yesterday I saw a butterfly here in Missouri - and immediately thought of Kristen and of you. I think I always will.

My husband "raises" bees and we are always watching documentaries about beekeeping. There are organic beekeepers who eat several *gallons* of honey each week (which sounds insane, but they swear by it), so I don't think your tablespoons are going to hurt much.

Supposedly if you eat honey that comes from your area, it will really help with allergies common to that location, too. Don't know if that is true, either, although our neighbor proclaims it from the rooftops. So eat away.

And if you're like my husband, you'll keep all that wax for making candles. Eventually. Do you have a spot you can save your "spit outs" in? :)

Your Kristen is here in my heart every day,

Cathy in Missouri

The VW's said...

You are one amazing lady! Love, Hugs and Prayers! Oh, and for some reason, now I'm craving honey! : )

Robert and Robyn Anderson said...

Wow, you are an amazing women...