I created this blog when my sweet little girl, Kristen, was diagnosed with cancer, for the third time. After fighting for almost 3 years Kristen was called home to that same God who gave her life. I've contemplated on many occasions rather I should quit this blog or not. Each time I am inspired that I should not. One of my favorite quotes comes from Neal A. Maxwell- "Those who "plow in hope" not only understand the law of the harvest but they also understand what growing seasons are all about. True, those with genuine hope may see their proximate circumstances shaken like a kaleidoscope at times, yet with the "Eye of faith" they still see divine design." Kristen blessed lives and continues to do so. Her light continues to shine. As for me, I continue to "plow in hope" knowing well that Kristen is mine for eternity. Families can be together forever! This I know. Our family continues to live and to love and this is our story...

Sunday, July 31, 2011


  Treasure; any thing or person greatly valued or highly prized

Kristen definitely is our treasure.
As I finished decorating her tree, I wanted something special to sit beneath it.
I found the perfect thing...

I am thankful that I can feel the connection between heaven and earth daily.

and two more treasures...

Spread some Christmas cheer

Christmas in July for 
Sweet Olga

Olga is an orphan.
The Abell family has committed to adopt sweet Olga.
The cost to adopt a child from another country is very expensive.
My friend, Stephanie, is having a fundraiser to help bring Olga home.
Stephanie is selling Christmas ornaments.
Here's how it works,
You can purchase an ornament for $10.00.
You can even include a personal message to go along with your ornament.
 The ornament goes to Olga, (The Abell family can hold on to it for her)
and the money goes  to bring Olga home!

Stephanie needs only 9 more people to buy an ornament to reach
her goal of raising $500.00.

I purchased the star ornament in honor
of my little "Rockstar"
Click here and you will be redirected to Stephanie's blog.
She has a chip in button in the side bar.
Together we can help save a child.

Thursday, July 28, 2011

yellow paint

Yellow is such a pretty color, don’t you think?
I do have to admit it looks much better on Kristen’s walls
than it does on my carpet.

A few days ago
the lights on Kristen’s tree burned out.
I was feeling pretty upset as I knew I wouldn’t be able to
Get more white Christmas lights until
sometime in October when the stores put their Christmas stuff out.
I was really surprised to walk into Hobby Lobby
 and find aisles and aisles of Christmas decorations.
I scored my lights and went on my way.
I then decided that it was time to clean Kristen’s room up a bit.
A fresh coat of paint was just what her room needed.
I decided to go with a warm yellow, after all yellow was her favorite color.
I went to the Home Depot and got myself a fresh gallon
of yellow paint.
I was seriously dancing all the way to her room as I was so excited to get started.
As I got to the top of the stairs the bag broke open and the paint fell to the ground.
There was nothing I could do except stand their and scream 
as I watched the gallon of paint bounce from
 stair to stair and finally land at the bottom on our new travertine floor.
My first thought was,
 “How am going to get this cleaned up before Richard gets home?”

Needless to say, I didn't get it cleaned up before he got home.
He was really good about the whole thing.
He removed the carpet and took it out to the back lawn where
he proceeded to spray it off with the hose.
Yeah, that didn't work either.
New carpet on the stairs it is.

In the mean time, Kristen's room is awesome.
Her tree turned out really cute.
Kristen LOVED the scene in Pollyanna 
where she is hanging prisms in the window and making rainbows on the walls.
I decided I would decorate her tree with prisms.
It's awesome.
I only wish she were here to see it.

a plug for Home Depot...
I went back to get more paint. I told them what happened and they
gave me another gallon of paint at no charge and they also threw in a 
bottle of paint remover.

Wednesday, July 27, 2011

Wednesday, July 20, 2011

her light continues to shine

I started the day by taking these 
5 little monkeys to see...

this movie
(Winnie the Pooh was one of Kristen's favorites)

We then headed to the cemetery to send 
Kristen some yellow balloons.
We also enjoyed some of her favorite crackers.

I then came home and spent some time 
sewing pillowcases
for some of Kristen's friends.

Later in the evening, Richard and I returned to the cemetery.
It was obvious that she had several visitors today.
As we stood there, Richard said that Kristen's life had such meaning
and purpose and that even her death has purpose. He said 
that even now she continues to inspire so many.
Her light and her love continues to shine.
She is truly an angel.
We miss her more and more every day.

I have been trying to get a picture of this girl awake,
and it just isn't happening.
So for now she sleeps.
Kali Ann

I feel so blessed to have such wonderful people in my life.
Thank you for your continued support.

do something for someone

Piglet: "Pooh, how do you spell LOVE?"
Pooh: "You don't spell it, you feel it."

It would be easy today for me to be on the wrong side of
faith, hope, and love. I could easily fall prey to doubt, despair, and selfishness.
That wouldn't do anyone a bit of good.
I am thankful today that I have faith to accept
God's will over my own.

In a beautiful blue lagoon on a clear day, a fine sailing ship spreads it's
 brilliant white canvas in a fresh morning breeze and sails out to the open sea. 
We watch her glide away magnificently through the deep blue and gradually
 see her grow smaller and smaller as she nears the horizon. 
Finally, where the sea and sky meet, she slips silently from sight; 
and someone near me says,
 "She is gone."
Gone where? Gone from sight-that is all.
She is still as large in mast and hull and sail, still just as able to bear her load. 
And we can be sure that, just as we say, 
"She is gone!" another says, "Here she comes!"
~ author unknown 

Kristen is never far from us. 
Her light continues to shine.
pillowcases are being made in her name.
A precious friend, Sarah, is remembering Kristen today.
is remembering Kristen by reminding us to join the bone marrow registry.

In honor of Kristen, let us all find someone who is having a hard time and help them.
Let us all take time to enjoy the simple pleasures in life and spend some 
time laughing with those we love.
Take time to notice the beauty around you,
you may even notice the yellow butterflies.

I wanted to share some pictures of Kristen from a time when she wasn't sick.
From 1996 to 2008 she was free of cancer and free of chemo.
She lived a full happy life. She was even mischievous.
These pictures were taken 10 years ago at her sisters wedding.

Tuesday, July 19, 2011

big family = many birthdays to celebrate

Our family knows how to celebrate a birthday...
start early and party all day and into the night.

Happy 1st Birthday to Baby Claire

Seriously, has it been a year?
Sometimes it seems like yesterday and other days it seems
like it has been an eternity.
If today is Claire's Birthday, then we know what tomorrow is.
I guess we'll deal with tomorrow, tomorrow.
In the mean time, a few pictures from today.

One more thing,
Have I mentioned that Claire seems to know Kristen.
Katy has several pictures on her coffee table.
She has one of her children, one of my dad and one of Kristen.
Kristen's picture always comes up missing.
She soon finds Claire walking around the house holding the picture.
A few days ago, Claire was here and we were taking some pictures of her,
I couldn't get her to look at me.
Out of the blue I said,
"Claire, where's Kristen?"
This was her response... 

Monday, July 18, 2011

my book has arrived

I know I know
Most of you already have yours.
I was a little slow in getting my ordered.
I only wish I had one for each of my children.
A blog book is so much cooler than any scrapbook.
Here it is, all 235 pages. Every blog post 
every picture between
 September 2008 and December 2010.
Of course, it's bound in yellow.
(her favorite color)

When I started Kristen's blog, it was a way for me to record my thoughts,
 a way to communicate with others who were also
taking steps into the darkness as I was.
It has become so much more.
I treasure every thought every picture and every comment.
I also treasure the friendships I have made,
for I have been lifted by others when
I needed it most.

Friday, July 15, 2011

and now there are seven

grandchildren that is.

Rick called me at 6 this morning to see if I could come over and tend the kids,
Lisa has been rather uncomfortable since 2 in the morning.
Yesterday at her weekly appointment the baby was still measuring where she was
2 weeks ago and her heart rate was too slow.
After about an hour the babies heart rate returned to normal and they sent her home
Today, upon arriving at the hospital, the babies heart rate was too fast.
When Lisa had a contraction the babies  heart rate dropped.
So needless to say, I was a wreck for most of the day.
Finally our cute baby girl arrived and their seems  to be no problem. Yea!

I was ready for some good news and even a diversion of sorts. My mind has been stuck on a year ago. I can't sleep as I keep playing the events of last year over and over in my mind. A year ago tonight Kristen was running a fever for the first time in months. I called the doctor and was told to bring her to the emergency room.. Kristen had a mind of her own and there was NO way she was going to the hospital. It was 11pm and I was still trying to talk her into going to the hospital. Finally I left her room frustrated. I put my pajamas on and went back in her room to get in bed with her. I will never forget the look on her face when she saw me in my pajamas. She was completely relieved and happy as she knew she was not going to the hospital that night. She reached up and grabbed my arm and began rubbing the sleeve of my pajamas. She said, "doctor tomorrow." and tomorrow it was.
I found these notebooks in the basement. They were 2 of Kristen's favorites. She LOVED Lizzie and High School Musical. It is a miracle they were not destroyed in the flood. Finding them brought a smile to my face.

Just because we could all use a good laugh...
I entered a pie baking contest. 
I'll let you know how that goes tomorrow.

Wednesday, July 13, 2011

from one Princess to another

"We would do well to slow down a little...
to focus on the significant, lift our eyes and truly see the
things that matter most."
~Dieter F. Uchtdorf

Since children with cancer melt my heart,
I just had to share this story.

Sunday, July 10, 2011

surrounded by truly amazing people

I have been wondering how I should spend July 20th.
Tonight out of the blue my nephew said,
 "How about we all go bowling on July 20th?"
I sat there quietly for just a minute wondering if he even knew what July 20th was.
He then proceeded to say, "I can't believe it has already been a year."
Then I knew he knew.
I fought back tears.

Then I come here tonight to check on my friends and I see this on Joyce's
quilt store blog.
Now I sit here in tears and I know of at least 2 things I'll be doing on July 20th...

and making pillowcases.

I would LOVE to head right to Ohio and sew right along side
Joyce, Sarah and friends, but for now our hearts will be connected as they sew in Ohio
and me here in Utah.

Thanks for thinking of Kristen and I.
It means EVERYTHING to me to know that people still care.

 Just this morning as I was laying in bed,  I wrapped my arms around Kristen's pillow,
and I thought to myself that I have slept with her pillow every night for the last year.
It still has the blue princess pillowcase on it, the one pictured above that Sarah
made for Kristen. I remember thinking,
I hope this pillowcase never wears out,
for it is the last pillowcase that she laid her sweet little head on.

I've added some pictures of her and her ever famous pillowcase...