I created this blog when my sweet little girl, Kristen, was diagnosed with cancer, for the third time. After fighting for almost 3 years Kristen was called home to that same God who gave her life. One of my favorite quotes comes from Neal A. Maxwell- "Those who "plow in hope" not only understand the law of the harvest but they also understand what growing seasons are all about. True, those with genuine hope may see their proximate circumstances shaken like a kaleidoscope at times, yet with the "Eye of faith" they still see divine design." Kristen blessed lives and continues to do so. Her light continues to shine. As for me, I continue to "plow in hope" knowing well that Kristen is mine for eternity. Families can be together forever!

Monday, September 27, 2010

The Merry-Go-Round

For the past two years the world has gone on without me. I'm ok with that.
I was in my own world taking care of my girl. 
Today the world continues to go on, sometimes I notice and sometimes
it's completely unnoticed by me.
There is one thing I won’t do. I am not going to jump back on that merry-go-round called life. You know the one, the one where you are so busy, usually with things that don’t matter, that each day becomes a blur and it's just a matter of time and you really do become dizzy.
I’ve seen too much to let myself get back on that ride.
Kristen taught me that it really is the simple things that mean the most.
Spending time with family,
visiting the sick,
making memories that will last forever,
making a blanket for a sick child,
making cookies for your neighbor,
sending a card to someone you have never met,
praying for a child who has just been diagnosed with cancer,
I mean really praying with your whole heart and soul.
She taught me that nice really does matter.

This week I think I will start with trying to be nice.
Maybe I should also try not to swear for an entire week.
(my kids are probably saying, "Yeah right. like that will ever happen.")
Whatever, I can try.

I'll end with some cute pictures of the grand kids from this past week...





As I pulled up to the cemetery  a few days ago, this is what I saw...


And tonight, this is what I saw...
(my mom will love this one)



7 comments:

Leah said...

You will live life. A life changed by your girl! She has made you so aware of things that are important. The good thing is, you learned those lessons. Many people don't, and they go on living they same lives they had before, or worse, they burry themselves in their lives in hopes they will forget any pain of loosing their loved one. But I think that pain is there to help us remember. We all love you, even those of us who have never met you. The world will be a better place because you were changed by Kristen, and in turn you will change someone else's life.

ABandCsMom said...

Oh those girls of ours. Change us, they did. Carly taught us that you take nothing for granted. NOTHING. EVER. And to love with your whole heart.

I know that we were so blessed to have had Carly in our lives. Even if it were for a mere 8 years. But the anger inside of me just rages on. Maybe some day, some day, I can find some sort of peace with God.

It's so strange too. I was so fearful to ever question "Why" to God. I never dared do that. I never questioned Him.."Why was my daughter born with Down syndrome"? or "Why did my daughter have to have such a severe heart defect"? or, "why was my daughter diagnosed with leukemia"? I suppose because I was so afraid He would swoop in and snatcher her away if I ever dared questioned Him. But now, I do question, "WHY? Why, why, why, why did he in fact, swoop right down and take her away"....

Most people will never understand the bonds we have had, and still have with our girls. A completely different kind of bond than we have with our other children. Likely because we knew our girls would always need us in their lives...and we expect our other children to move on with their own lives.

Thanks for giving me your number. I'll be calling you soon.

Take care Polly and now we think of you and your family often.

Rochelle said...

If only everybody focused on the simple things in life. Wouldn't this world be so much better?

Love the pics of the grandkids and all of Kristen's visitors.

Angi said...

Love the pics and please take some peace in knowing she is still changing me everyday...I am not much for slowing down, I'm not as patient as I should be with my kids...or anyone else for that matter, but I'm trying, YOU are making a difference, SHE is still making a difference...Love~ Angi

Zoey's mom said...

You continue to inspire us all.Your daughter and her amazing,courageous spirit,continue to inspire us all.

The wisdom we have gained by the gift of these children in our lives,is one we could never,ever explain to anyone.As much as we try.It seems as if the world still does not get it.If only we could shout from the rooftops,to all that would listen,"Please allow these children into the world.You will be better because of them.We promise."

Love to you Polly and I think I'll join you in stepping on off the Merry-Go-Round.I really think I have already begun to do that but I always have room for improvement ....I think I will follow you in the swearing department to ... my husband will say,"Will never happen."He's probably right!!

Love to you and I am going to send you a FB message about something.Look for it.

Kristi said...

I love this post Polly because it is OH SO TRUE! I am reading a book right now that expresses everything you did here, it's called "Mitten strings from God". It's about slowing down and enjoying the small things. I think EVERYONE should read it!
And what a beautiful sight at the cemetary, both times! Love to you all! :)
Kristi

Amy L said...

Kristen, my goodness how she continues to shine! There's not a day that goes by that I don't think of her. You are always in my prayers Polly!