It's no secret that Kristen loved the Disney Channel. She had the daily schedule memorized. I even scheduled her doctors appointments so that she would be home in time to catch the 1 oclock movie. She was a huge fan of Hannah, Sonny and the Jonas Brothers. It's also no secret that Joe Jonas was her favorite. Several months ago Disney started showing previews for the new movie Camp Rock 2. Kristen was very excited and she would say, "I like it." I would always say, "Can I watch it with you?" Of course she would always answer, Yes. Once I realized that it wouldn't preview until September 3rd, I knew that she probably wouldn't be able to watch it. It broke my heart. This afternoon I realized that tonight was the night. The preview of Camp Rock 2. I had a lump in my throat for most of the day. Tonight, alone in her room, I sit, watching Camp Rock 2. It's a bit cheesy, But I think she would have liked it. No, she would have loved it.
It feels good sitting here in her room just the way she left it. It's bright and cheerful. Some days I come here several times a day. Sometimes I cry and sometimes I smile. Tonight I smile. So thankful for the sweet memories when peace, harmony,and the noise from the Disney Channel permeated our home. I want to live in my memories of her, I want my faith to be strengthened, my life to be bigger and better, as she has changed me forever. I continue to look for comfort as I experience the shock and numbness of this life changing sorrow that has been placed before me. Some days it's one step forward and 2 steps backwards. And that's ok. As Kristen has taught me the true meaning of life and what matters, I look to a picture of her and the message
she and a friend sends me today.