I created this blog when my sweet little girl, Kristen, was diagnosed with cancer, for the third time. After fighting for almost 3 years Kristen was called home to that same God who gave her life. One of my favorite quotes comes from Neal A. Maxwell- "Those who "plow in hope" not only understand the law of the harvest but they also understand what growing seasons are all about. True, those with genuine hope may see their proximate circumstances shaken like a kaleidoscope at times, yet with the "Eye of faith" they still see divine design." Kristen blessed lives and continues to do so. Her light continues to shine. As for me, I continue to "plow in hope" knowing well that Kristen is mine for eternity. Families can be together forever!

Friday, September 3, 2010

Camp Rock 2

It's no secret that Kristen loved the Disney Channel. She had the daily schedule memorized. I even scheduled her doctors appointments so that she would be home in time to catch the 1 oclock movie. She was a huge fan of Hannah, Sonny and the Jonas Brothers. It's also no secret that Joe Jonas was her favorite. Several months ago Disney started showing previews for the new movie Camp Rock 2. Kristen was very excited  and she would say, "I like it." I would always say, "Can I watch it with you?" Of course she would always answer, Yes. Once I realized that it wouldn't preview until September 3rd, I knew that she probably wouldn't be able to watch it. It broke my heart. This afternoon I realized that tonight was the night. The preview of Camp Rock 2. I had a lump in my throat for most of the day. Tonight, alone in her room, I sit, watching Camp Rock 2. It's a bit cheesy, But I think she would have liked it. No, she would have loved it.
It feels good sitting here in her room just the way she left it. It's bright and cheerful. Some days I come here several times a day. Sometimes I cry and sometimes I smile. Tonight I smile. So thankful for the sweet memories when peace, harmony,and the noise from the Disney Channel permeated our home. I want to live in my memories of her, I want my faith to be strengthened, my life to be bigger and better, as she has changed me forever. I continue to look for comfort as I experience the shock and numbness of this life changing sorrow that has been placed before me. Some days it's one step forward and 2 steps backwards. And that's ok. As Kristen has taught me the true meaning of life and what matters, I look to a picture of her and the message
she and a friend sends me today.
It's simple,
"Be Brave"
I'll try


Cindy said...

It made me smile to see Kristen's room again. You're right, it is so bright and cheery. We're remembering her with you.

P.S. Beth's favorite Jonas is Nick. :)

Denise said...

I often think of Kristen when I watch Hannah Montana with my girls. She will just pop into my head sometimes. I didn't know she was such a big Jonas Bros fan also. (I am with Beth above, I like Nick the best :) I watched it tonight with my girls...thankful that Ella and I could be home to join them. Now whenever I watch Camp Rock...I will think of Kristen. And in reference to your comment....the first 2 rounds of Ella's treatment we were in for 4 weeks so this was a big surprise to us as well.

Mel said...

We are a long way away from you, but I feel your loss and think of Kristen too. Although I never met her, she has touched my heart. Hang in there :)

The VW's said...

Kristen was so brave and so full of life.....she must have got this trait from some place.....I have a feeling that you are one brave Momma and full of life too!

Love You!!! Many Hugs and Prayers!!!

Lacey said...

Now I'll always think of Kristen when I here the Disney channel in the background. My boys always have it on. And you know we are huge Disney fans.

JennyH said...

Loved seeing her room again as well. Sorry Kristen is not there to watch it with you. In spirit she is though.

Kristi said...

I love seeing Kristen's room and your right, it just oozes warmth and happiness. I pray for you all the time Polly. Thank you for staying here with us. :)

Amy L said...

I have a feeling that Kristen was watching with you Polly.:)I can't wait to meet your precious girl in Heaven one day! Sending hugs and prayers,

JEllen said...

Polly, I agree with Amy. I believe Kristen was watching, with you and with Sarah. I bet she was even joining in the conversation that happened earlier in the day at the store. Thinking of you all the time.

Brighton said...

Polly, I think that's beautiful. Sara has a tv in her room, and like Kristen, she has the Disney station line-up memorized. I would have totally done the same thing! I'm sure she was rockin' out right along with you : )