I created this blog when my sweet little girl, Kristen, was diagnosed with cancer, for the third time. After fighting for almost 3 years Kristen was called home to that same God who gave her life. One of my favorite quotes comes from Neal A. Maxwell- "Those who "plow in hope" not only understand the law of the harvest but they also understand what growing seasons are all about. True, those with genuine hope may see their proximate circumstances shaken like a kaleidoscope at times, yet with the "Eye of faith" they still see divine design." Kristen blessed lives and continues to do so. Her light continues to shine. As for me, I continue to "plow in hope" knowing well that Kristen is mine for eternity. Families can be together forever!

Friday, June 4, 2010

A Milestone?

Today was supposed to be a special day. A day we had been looking forward to for a long time, 100 days in fact. It was Kristen’s 100 days since transplant.
The 100 day mark is considered a standard transplant milestone.

Two of my grandchildren share June 4th as their Birthday. Today we would celebrate Kristen’s accomplishment and the 3rd Birthdays of Jordan and Ellie.

We started the day off with Kristen’s weekly clinic appointment. Her labs were drawn and the doc came in and said her numbers were good and sent us on our way. We were there just short of an hour, which is a record. I was glad as there was much to do this day.
We arrived home and Kristen was a bit worn so she headed up to her room. She got herself organized, put her pajamas on and sat upon her bed to catch the latest on Disney channel. I headed straight to the kitchen to make a Mickey Mouse cake for the kiddies birthday.

There was much talk between two of my daughters as we are planning a double wedding for them on August 18th. Crazy, I know, but they both planned to be married in August. Jokingly, I mentioned that I could never pull off 2 weddings in the same month. If they both were going to get married in August then it would have to be on the same day. The more we joked about it and talked about it, the more we decided that it sounded fun. So a double reception it would be.

We were all busy going about the day’s activities. The phone rang and I could see it was the clinic calling. I was sure they were going to make more adjustments on Kristen’s meds. I picked up the phone expecting to hear Brenda, the nurse practitioner, but instead I heard, “Mrs. Kirton, This is Dr. Meeker.” I immediately replied, “No I don’t want to talk to you, If you are calling it must be bad news.” as to which he replied, “I’m sorry, We have found what we believe to be signs of leukemia cells in Kristen’s blood.”
There you have it…Our big day of celebrating came to a fast halt.

I often talk of the boat us cancer moms are sitting in. Knowing well that someone is going to get thrown off, it could be any one of us and any time. Well today, I was thrown off and I fell hard. I do not know if I have the strength to swim to the shore. I seriously do not know how I can go on. At the moment I am trying to see any glimmer of hope. But I don’t see it. Kristen will have a bone marrow biopsy at the beginning of the week to confirm what we believe has happened. Relapse. Then we will sit with the doctors and discuss our options.
Another heart wrenching day.
Once again I ask you to please
Say a little prayer for her.


Kristin said...

Praying for another miracle!

Rachel said...

Praying for Kristen.

Heather said...

Absolutely speechless Polly.Just speechless.Even though,when I read your FB status,I had a feeling but just didn't want to believe it.I just can't believe it


Praying like crazy.It is all I know to do in this moment.It's all I can do for you.I wish it were enough.

All our love from California,with big hugs and kisses from our little warior girl to yours.

treasuresandsnares said...

I have been lurking around for awhile, keeping tabs on Miss Kristen. I am so very sorry this is happening again. I will surely say many prayers for you sweet young lady. I am sending hugs and loves :)

Kim and Miss T

Emma said...

I really don't know what to say. Don't forget God is more powerful than this. Kristen is in His hands. I will remember your family in my prayers this week.

Love and blessings,

stephanie said...

OH Polly, I'm in shock, I don't know what to say...

I just don't know what to say

This freakin' sucks!

Unending prayers!!!!!

Angi said...

I'm so sorry Polly, horrible,horrible news.

Peter Olson said...

Forget that "swim to shore", I pray that you walk on that water!
Kristen is God's child too.
Have faith. She is in His hands.
Look back at how she has survived through all that (____) in the past.
Don't loose faith, you have hope, our God is Bigger than Cancer, Bigger than Leukemia, and Bigger than the Universe.
Certainly, He can handle any problem we face.
He knows what He is doing. Trust in that truth.
Treasure every minute with Kristen, she is a blessing from God.
We pray that Kristen, our Miracle Girl, has "Another Miracle".

Leah said...

No no no!!!! I, too, don't know what to say, other than I want to scream right along with you. Remember when you can't swim anymore, God is your life ring, and it's big enough for both you and Kristen to fit in. Know that we are one more family among so many praying for you guys!

The VW's said...

I am so heartbroken for you, Kristen and all of your family! This just isn't fair! You will be in my thoughts and prayers! May God give you peace, strength and grace as you continue to walk this trying road! Love and Hugs!!!

Googsmom said...

Continued Prayers!!

Joyce said...

Oh Polly, My heart just dropped to the floor. I can't even begin to imagine the rollercoaster of emotions you all have experienced throughout Kristen's battle. And now this. I am going to pray that they read those pesky cell markers wrong. I hate that Kristen has to endure another bone marrow biopsy. Praying with all our might.

Amy L said...

Oh I can't stop the tears! Please know how much we have grown to love your Kristen! I will be praying hard! Please hug Kristen for us!!
The Lucas Family
Amy, Jimmy, Ben ,Caleb and Elijah

Nicki McFadden said...

You do have the strength...you have to for Kristen! Don't give up, don't ever give up. She is an amazing woman and you are an amazing mom.

Gigantic hugs and prayers for you all!


Michele said...

I don't know you except through Carly but I have to say I am so sorry to hear of this news. I will put Kristen in my thoughts and prayers.

Denise said...

Noooooooooo!! I don't know what to say or do except pray!! We received Kristen's picture and are so thrilled to add her to Ella's hospital wall when we go back.

Ruby's Mom said...

It just made me sick to read this.I can't even imagine how you must feel.My family and I still think of y'all and we pray and wear Kristin's bracelet.I was surprised that even my big 23 and 18 year old boy's wear those pink bracelets :) Sending prayers daily.

Jenny said...

Praying for you and Kristen. I found your blog through Reeces Rainbow post. It sounds as if you are one special strong person. You can swim.

The Land Family said...

We wanted to let you know that we in Indiana are praying for you.

I found your blog via Reece's Rainbow.

God Bless,
Amy Land

JennyH said...

My heart breaks for you guys. Prayers are with you. Kristen is a Rock Star and I know she will shine through this.

To Love Endlessly said...

Oh my dear, we are praying for you. this was heart wrenching to read. I can't begin to imagine what you are feeling on this celebration day. We are praying hard on our knees for your Kristen.

Sandie Flannery said...

I'm praying over here and will have my daughter pray too!I'm so sorry. Sandie

Cindy said...

I am saddened by this latest news. Don't even know what to say. Praying for you.

Jenny said...

I don't remember how I originally found your blog, but I've been following Kristen's story for a while now. I'm so so so sorry. She IS an angel and she has tons of us praying for her...and certainly for you too. The Lord doesn't give us more than we can bear. You will somehow find the strength that you believe you lack. He never gives us more than we can bear. Much love.

Donna said...

I am so sorry to read this today on your blog. I am praying for you and Kristen as you try to deal with this news. I know your friends and family will carry you through this and continue to lean on God through all of this. He is carrying you now. You might not be able to swim at this moment, but he has a life vest for you to wear at times like these. She is a beautiful girl and I will continue to pray for all of you.

Cammie Heflin said...

Definitely not what I was hoping to read about our Rock Star today. Prayers on their way.

Brighton said...

Praying hard for Kristen.


Inanna said...

Want you to know that I am praying for Kristen.

Sasha said...

Oh I am so sorry to hear this. My heart was feeling your pain at the time of the phone call. Ugh. All I can say is hang on there. I am not on the cancer boat for my child but for both of my parents and it SUCKS. All you can do is keep praying for a miracle, some good news, some hope, some help. I am with you and thinking of you at this time. Hugs. I don't know if it relates at all but doctor oz had a show on a new drug that fights certain cancers and I believe it may apply for Kristen. I think the name is gleevac? Oh I am not certain but I was watching it for my parents to see if it could help them, but it didn't work for those types of cancers that they have. Hugs to you on this tough journey.

schoolmother said...

Oh, I am so sorry to hear this. Please know I am praying for you and your whole family right now.

Shauna said...

Polly - Our thoughts and prayers are coming to you from St. George. God bless you all.