I created this blog when my sweet little girl, Kristen, was diagnosed with cancer, for the third time. After fighting for almost 3 years Kristen was called home to that same God who gave her life. One of my favorite quotes comes from Neal A. Maxwell- "Those who "plow in hope" not only understand the law of the harvest but they also understand what growing seasons are all about. True, those with genuine hope may see their proximate circumstances shaken like a kaleidoscope at times, yet with the "Eye of faith" they still see divine design." Kristen blessed lives and continues to do so. Her light continues to shine. As for me, I continue to "plow in hope" knowing well that Kristen is mine for eternity. Families can be together forever!

Wednesday, February 3, 2010

Sick of Waiting

Today was a big day for Kristen. She had a bone marrow biopsy and a lumbar puncture (spinal tap). She also received a chemo drug in her spine. She is a bit sore tonight, I'll stay on top of the tylenol and the anti-nausia drugs seem to be working for the moment. Hoping for a quiet night.
We are at a stand still. Waiting to hear from the insurance company. In the mean time we are hoping that Kristen can stay in remission.  It is fustrating. Kristen is ready for the transplant. She reached a remission which is a miracle in and of itself. As of now, no one quite knows what to do. More chemo to hold her over until we get the approval? Take a chance and wait another week or two? When I say I am sick of waiting, I really mean that. I am sick. I feel weak. I am about ready to steal Kristen's anti-nausia drugs. I need something to rid myself of this pit in my stomach and the pounding in my head. I was so excited to come from the hospital to finally sleep in my own bed, but now I can't even sleep. Something else that makes me sick... I wanted to post some more pictures of Kristen but seems all I have these days is pictures of her in the hospital, sitting in the car riding home from the hospital or sitting up in her bed. That's it. That's all we do. Go to the hospital. Come home. Go back to the hospital.
As I look at it...Tomorrow has to be better. Once you hit bottom there is no where else to go but UP.

13 comments:

My name is Sarah said...

This is Joyce. I can only imagine what you are feeling right now. Although we have been through a lot of medical stuff with sarah, we have never had to fight with our insurance. Are they doing an emergency appeal? If you tell me who the insurance carrier is I might be able to give you some advice. (I think I shared that my husband and I own a medical billing company so we deal with this stuff day in and day out) you can email me at sarahely8989@yahoo.com

Tina said...

YES there is nowhere else to go but UP...keep the faith, although I can only start to imagine how frustrating the waiting must be, especially not knowing how much longer it's going to take.
I keep thinking and praying for Kristin, praying that this ordeal comes to a happy ending soon. You must be exhausted and rightfully so, I hope you can get some rest and much needed sleep, you need to have energy for the next day, as the next day might be the day you are waiting for.

Angi said...

I am so sorry, your post made me cry, I so want to help. Saying a prayer for a better day...

stephanie said...

This pisses me off like you can't believe. Well I'm sure you can believe. Those the stupid insurance company does realize that this is a freakin life. They sit on there *sses and twiddle their thumbs thinking if it's worth it. This kind of discrimination and yes it is! deserves a spot in your local paper or on your news!
Praying that this gets resolved soon.
Hugs to sweet Kristen.

The VW's said...

Waiting is so hard, but ESPECIALLY when you are waiting in a hospital and waiting for your child to be cured! Like you said, life is up in the air and you have no control and that's a very bad feeling to have! I am so sorry that you are having to wait and go through this!

God knows the future and He is not waiting to find out what or when things will happen. He has a plan for you and Kristen and His purpose will certainly be made known to you! Wait on the Lord! In the mean time, take care of yourself and know that many are thinking of you guys and praying!

Love, Hugs and Prayers!!!

Lacey said...

My gosh, can't someone call the insurance company and say it needs to be done now! I hate insurance, but love them at the same time!

Mom Of Many said...

Hi,
I found your blog thru my friend Stephanie, and I just wanted you to know that I will be praying for your precious daughter. My heart aches when I peeked around at what you all have been through.

Today is a day of prayer and fasting and I will certainly add your Kristen to my list of prayer needs. May God's Almighty Grace and Peace fill your home and hearts...and May He heal Kristen once again!!

From Snowy Colorado,
Linny

Lianna said...

I agree with Stephanie! How can we live in a society where insurance companies have precedence over someone's life?

Our family sends our heartfelt wishes for Kristen's full recovery! Please stay strong!

Suzie and Lily said...

Oh I'm so mad! I just wrote a long message and the system wouldn't take it! uuugh! Probably better as I was rambling about insurance and bedget cuts :-) I haven't been on here forever and reading this gets my emotions boiling! Just know I have thought about Kristen a lot and will be delivering a special package soon. My new job kind of swallowed me for a while :-}

Peter Olson said...

I had chemo in a spinal tap once. Boy was I sick! Those anti-nausea drugs are a lifesaver.
Praying for the right answer to come very soon.
I pray that you get some rest. You can't get worn down and get sick. That would be the worst.

ashleypmo said...

Just found your blog. Thank you for sharing Kristin's courageous story. As a mommy of four--the youngest of whom has Down syndrome--I appreciate your candidness about your situation. Prayers!!!

ABandCsMom said...

I know that fights with insurance companies regarding the well being our kids just plain stinks. Our cardio doc's have gone to bat many time for Carly. Thankfully, our insurance co did approve our needs.

That being said..there is NO excuse for the actions, or lack there of, from your insurance company. Hey, you should write your congress men. Contact a local TV station. Bring some attention to this insurance company.

How come, parents who deny their kids treatment to rid cancer from their bodies, get put in jail for not seeking treatments. But insurance companies can say, yeah or nay...and that's okay?

You're right though, no place to go but UP!!!

Brandi said...

Hang in there!! WE are all praying for you.